i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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