i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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