But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
