Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
