So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
