Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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