Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
