I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
