there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Text me some of your sweat
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
