We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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