no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
