O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
