I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize