he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize