Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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