They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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