i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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