everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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