how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
