I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize