well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she told me i tasted like america
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
