My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize