I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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