mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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