this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
