before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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