sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
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I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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