i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
