No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just had sex bonerless
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
