I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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