Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
