would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
