Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
