She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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