We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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