I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
