The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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