We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
