Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
