why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
