Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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