Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
