They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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