I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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