I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
