i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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