I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
