my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
