so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
