the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
