You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
