Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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