So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
