tell your sister to shave her snatch
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
