this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
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He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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