I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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