It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize