I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
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Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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