Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Say something about gay babies.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
