I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
